Recursive dictionary transformations
Some droll amusement can be had from application of the following algorithm:
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take some innocuous piece of text,
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replace all members of some grammatical class with their dictionary definitions, and
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repeat the process until it becomes impractical to go any further.
In the examples below, I have used nouns as the elements to be replaced. Repetition of the cycle generally becomes impractical after just two executions. It is interesting to see the effect on different types of text - examples given here include classic adventure fiction, fairy tales, philosophy, ripping poetry, and twentieth-century modern novels.
We start with a medium-sized dictionary (the Concise Oxford, the eighth edition, of happy pre-"New Oxford" days). The effect of stepping up to the full OED can be seen at the end.
From the opening lines of Rafael Sabatini's Scaramouche:
Scaramouche
The original text:
He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. And that was all his patrimony. His very paternity was obscure, although the village of Gavrillac had long since dispelled the cloud of mystery that hung about it. Those simple Brittany folk were not so simple as to be deceived by a pretended relationship which did not even possess the virtue of originality.
After one round of dictionary definition replacements:
He was born with a thing given, a present of the act or sound of laughing and the ability to perceive or feel or to be conscious of the presence or properties of things that human affairs, their course and conditions, active life were mad. And that was all his property inherited from one's father or ancestor. His very fatherhood was obscure, although the group of houses and associated buildings larger than a hamlet and smaller than a town, especially in a rural area, of Gavrillac had long since dispelled the obscurity of a secret, hidden or inexplicable matter that hung about it. Those simple Brittany people in general or of a specified class were not so simple as to be deceived by a pretended fact or state of being related which did not even possess the good quality of newness or freshness.
A second round gives (first sentence only, to avoid insanity):
He was born with a material or non-material entity, idea, action, etc, that is or may be thought about or perceived, a gift, a thing given or presented, of the something done, deed, or action, or sensation caused in the ear by the vibration of the surrounding air or other medium of laughter and the capacity or power to perceive or feel or to be conscious of the state or condition of being present or attributes, qualities or characteristics of material or non-material entities, ideas, actions, etc, that are or may be thought about or perceived, that human concerns, business, matters to be attended to, their continuous onward movement or progression and circumstances, esp. those affecting the functioning or existence of something, active condition which distinguishes active animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, functional activity, and continual change preceding death, were mad.
Rapunzel
Taking a section from near the start of the tale (Grimm's version):
Rapunzel grew into the most beautiful child under the sun. When she was twelve years old, the enchantress shut her into a tower, which lay in a forest, and had neither stairs nor door, but quite at the top was a little window. When the enchantress wanted to go in, she placed herself beneath it and cried:
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
Let down your hair to me."
This becomes:
Rapunzel grew into the most beautiful young human being below the age of puberty under the star round which the earth orbits and from which it receives light and warmth. When she was twelve periods of 365 days or 366 days old, the person who enchants (female), esp. by supposed use of magic, shut her into a tall esp. square or circular structure, often part of a church, castle etc., which lay in a large area chiefly of trees and undergrowth, and had neither sets of fixed indoor steps nor hinged, sliding, or revolving barrier for closing and opening an entrance to a building, room, cupboard, etc, but quite at the highest point or part was a little opening in a wall, roof, or vehicle etc, usually with glass in fixed, sliding, or hinged frames, to admit light or air etc and allow the occupants to see out. When the person who enchants (female), esp. by supposed use of magic wanted to go in, she placed herself beneath it and cried:
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
Let down your fine threadlike
strands growing from the skin of mammals, esp. from the human head,
to me."
A second round then gives (first sentence only):
Rapunzel grew into the most beautiful young man or woman or child of the human species below the particular point or part of one's life of the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction under the celestial body appearing as a luminous point in the night sky round which one of the planets of the solar system orbiting about the sun between Venus and Mars, the planet on which we live, orbits and from which it receives the natural agent (electromagnetic radiation of wavelength between about 390 and 740 mm) that stimulates sight and makes thing visible, . . .
Bertrand Russell
Applying the algorithm to text with a high proportion of abstract nouns is particularly amusing. Here, the starting text is from Bertrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy, from a chapter on Plato:
The second argument is that knowledge is recollection, and therefore the soul must have existed before birth. The theory that knowledge is recollection is supported chiefly by the fact that we have ideas, such as exact equality, which cannot be derived from experience.
Transformation gives:
The second reasoning process is that awareness or familiarity gained by experience is the act or power of recollecting, and therefore the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being, often regarded as immortal, must have existed before the emergence of a (usually fully developed) infant or other young from the body of its mother. The supposition or system of ideas explaining something, esp. one based on general principles independent of the particular things to be explained, that awareness or familiarity gained by experience is the act or power of recollecting is supported chiefly by the thing that is known to have occurred, to exist, or to be true, that we have conceptions or plans formed by mental effort, such as [the] exact state of being equal, which cannot be derived from actual observation of, or practical acquaintance with, facts or events.
For obvious reasons, I have not tried a second squeeze through the mangle.
Poetry
Interesting too is the effect on poetry, here using the first four lines of Newbolt's "Vitai Lampada". We see some interesting recursions in the twice-mutated version.
There's a breathless hush in
the close tonight -
Ten to make and the match to
win -
A bumping pitch and a blinding light
An hour to play and the last
man in.
This becomes:
There's a breathless expectant stillness or silence in the school playing-field or playground tonight -
One more than nine to make and the contest or game of skill etc. in which persons or teams compete against each other to win -
A bumping area between the creases and a blinding amount or quality of illumination in a place,
A twenty-fourth part of a day and a night, 60 minutes, to play and the last individual, usually male, person, in.
A second run then gives:
There's a breathless expectant stillness [undefined] or absence of sound in the school field used for outdoor team games or outdoor area for children to play on tonight -
One more than one more than eight, or one less than ten, to make and the process of contending, competition, or form or spell of play or sport, esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck, of expertness, practised ability, facility in an action, dexterity or tact etc., in which individual human beings or sets of players forming one side in a game compete against each other to win -
A bumping region or tract between the lines marking the position of the bowler or batsman and a blinding quantity, esp. the total of a thing of things in number, size, value, extent, etc, or distinctive attribute or faculty, characteristic trait, of the act or state of illuminating or being illuminated, in a particular portion of space,
A twenty-fourth each of several equal portions of a whole of a time between sunrise and sunset and a time from sunset to sunrise, the product of six and ten sixtieth parts of an hour, to play and the last single human being as distinct from a family or group, usually male, individual human being, in.
Full OED versions
The "full monty" is quite staggering. Perhaps here we can start with the transformed version, and look at the original afterwards:
Did she have a one who or that which runs or goes before; a forerunner; esp. one who precedes and heralds the approach of another; a harbinger; spec. applied to John the Baptist? She did, indeed she did. With regard to matters of fact; also (and now usually) = in fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one second and warmest season of the year, coming between spring and autumn; reckoned astronomically from the summer solstice (21 June) to the autumnal equinox (22 or 23 Sept.); in popular use comprising in the northern hemisphere the period from mid-May to mid-August; also often, in contradistinction to winter, the warmer half of the year, a certain initial girl-child [no direct definition].
In a state or country ruled over by a prince; a principality, by the continuous body of salt water that covers the greater part of the earth's surface. Oh when? About as many times occupied by the sun in its apparent passage through the signs of the zodiac, i.e. (according to modern astronomy) the period of the earth's revolution round the sun, forming a natural unit of time (nearly = 365 1 / 4 days); hence, a space of time approximately equal to this in any conventional practical reckoning (considered with respect to its length, without reference to its limits) before Lolita was born as my time that any animal or vegetable has lived; the length of time that anything has existed in its present form or state, length of existence, was that second and warmest season of the year, coming between spring and autumn; reckoned astronomically from the summer solstice (21 June) to the autumnal equinox (22 or 23 Sept.); in popular use comprising in the northern hemisphere the period from mid-May to mid-August; also often, in contradistinction to winter, the warmer half of the year.
You can always count on one who murders or is guilty of a murder for a fancy prose manner of expression characteristic of a particular writer (hence of an orator), or of a literary group or period; a writer's mode of expression considered in regard to clearness, effectiveness, beauty, and the like.
Ladies and gentlemen of the company of persons (orig. men) sworn to render a 'verdict' or true answer upon some question or questions officially submitted to them; in modern times, in a court of justice, usually upon evidence delivered to them touching the issue; but in the earliest times usually upon facts or matters within their own knowledge, for which reason they were summoned from the neighbourhood to which the question submitted to them related, or in which the person or persons lived as to whose conduct or death an 'inquest' or investigation was held, document (or, more recently, any material object) produced in court and referred to and identified in written evidence number one is what the seraphic persons, 'angel's, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphic persons, 'angel's, envied.
Look at this tangled condition, or concr. a tangled mass, a complication of threads, hairs, fibres, branches, boughs, or the like, confusedly intertwined or interlaced, or of a single long thread, line, or rope, involved in coils, loops, and knots; a snarl, ravel, or complicated loose knot (also transf. of streams, paths, etc. similarly intertwisted or confused), of stiff, sharp-pointed, straight or curved woody process on the stem or other part of a plant; spines, prickles.
As you will no doubt have realised, this came from the almost-opening paragraphs Nabokov's Lolita:
Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.
Another example, again in the same order:
But now, splendidly, everything had become clear. The one that cherishes hatred, that wishes or seeks to do ill to another; also in weaker sense, an adversary, antagonist, opponent, at last was plain in the sight of, so as to be seen by; also, within sight of, near enough to see, huge and hateful, all altered fashion of dress and personal appearance intended to conceal the wearer's identity, the state of being thus transformed in appearance for concealment's sake, cast off. It was the Modern any great period or portion of human history distinguished by certain characters real or mythical, as the Golden Age, the Patriarchal Age, the Bronze Age, the Age of the Reformation, the Middle Ages, the Prehistoric Age, armed, furnished with weapons, sword in hand, prepared to fight. Whatever the that which comes out of or results from something, visible or practical result, effect, or product, there was a space which one person occupies by usage, allotment, or right, a seat or accommodation engaged in a public building, conveyance, or the like, a space at table, seat, station, quarters for him in that hostile engagement or encounter between opposing forces on land or sea; a combat, a fight.
The original text being the following crucial lines of Waugh's Men at Arms:
But now, splendidly, everything had become clear. The enemy at last was plain in view, huge and hateful, all disguise cast off. It was the Modern Age in arms. Whatever the outcome there was a place for him in that battle.