Selected minor writings Articles Various articles and editorials written recently, mostly for publication in the magazine The Actuary.   Control cycle I   A critical examination of the control cycle tool read this Control cycle II   Why the control cycle is both trivial and obvious read this C.R.A.P.   Committee for the Review of Actuarial Presentation read this Etymology I   The etymology of various financial terms read this Etymology II   More such stuff read this On an editorial creed   How to be an editor read this On the analogical actuary   Analogical basis of modelling read this On the bibliophilic actuary   Merits of non-existent books read this On the catallactic actuary   Market value or income value? read this On the chronical actuary   Things temporal read this On the creative actuary   Thunderbirds and actuarial creativity read this On the do-it-yourself actuary   Charles Babbage et al. read this On the historical actuary   Case studies and biography read this On the over-endowed actuary   Bishop Hall's thoughts read this P.R.A.C.   Encyclopaedia of Post-Renaissance Actuarial Culture read this Regulatory linguistics   The work of the ERZ read this Signor Tonti's Tontines   A brief history of the tontine, and its creator Signor Tonti read this Stochastic modelling for fun   Linguistic applications read this Vaut le voyage?   Autobiographical bilge read this Visions of Sin   ALM re-invented read this Writing   How to write like an actuary read this Computer translations An interesting monograph on the potential for humourous effects from computerised translations, via excerpts such as: Organs of the Bottom  I left a theatre where every evening I appeared with the aprons in great behaviour of sighing It was the season of Turns on, it was the season of the obscurity After he had supped Aladdin retired to his chamber and, locking the door, brought out the lamp and rubbed it, whenas forthright appeared to him its familiar, who said: "Ask whatso thou wantest, for I am thy slave and slave to him who holdeth the lamp in hand, I and all the Slaves of the Lamp."   Literary transformations of the OULIPO A short piece on those literary tranformations of the OULIPO that I find particularly interesting and generally amusing, including examples such as: But at my badger I always hear Tincture's wingèd charlotte hurrying near; Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your fine threadlike strands growing from the skin of mammals, esp. from the human head. Oulipists sought to attain linguistic karma without using a particular popular symbol.  A task not without pangs, but fascinating. Please, please, take me to the OULIPO page.   Footnotes A celebration of that most forgotten of literary forms, the footnote, with incredibly exciting examples from Boswell, Gibbon, Burton, Borges, de Quincey &c., such as: In earlier times, there was one man for every three hexagons.  Suicide and diseases of the lung have played havoc with that proportion.  An unspeakably melancholy memory: I have sometimes travelled for nights on end, down corridors and polished staircases, without coming across a single librarian. He went home with Mr. Burke to supper; and broke his shin by attempting to exhibit to the company how much better he could jump over a stick than the puppets. "Is it true" (said Augustus to a veteran of Italy, at whose house he supped) "that the man who gave the first blow to the golden statue of Anaitis was instantly deprived of his eyes and of his life?" - "I was that man" (replied the clear sighted veteran), "and you now sup on one of the legs of the goddess." So the old Muscovites, we are told, always began marriage with a sound flogging. 'Proceeded to roast him, - yes: but did he roast him?' Really I can't say. Some people like their mutton underdone; and Lord --- might like his man underdone. This type of woman has an oddly disarming effect on her husband, but only until he discovers that the person he has married and who shares his nuptial bed is his mother-in-law.   Miscellaneous gibberish Various vaguely humorous pieces written some time ago Actuary or pimp?   Easy rules to tell if you are an actuary or a pimp read this Fleashy, Sweaty, Amorous   Erotic ode to the FSA returns read this Language lesson   English lesson for Italians read this Matman   Interactive mortality investigation (cartoon) look at this Rhyme of the ancient kayaker   Story of chap from NZ who ruins a coffee machine read this Xmass family newsletter Anti-chain newsletter material read this

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